Uptime Funk - Best Sysadmin Parody Video Ever!

This is so good! Perfect for your Monday morning jam.

Uptime Funk is a music video (parody of Uptown Funk) from SUSECon 2015 in Amsterdam.

My favorite: 

I'm all green (hot patch)
Called a Penguin and Chameleon
I'm all green (hot patch)
Call Torvalds and Kroah-Hartman
It’s too hot (hot patch)
Yo, say my name you know who I am
It’s too hot (hot patch)
I ain't no simple code monkey
Nuthin's down

Multithreaded Programming has Really Gone to the Dogs

Taken from Multithreaded programming - theory and practice on reddit, which also has some very funny comments. If anything this is way too organized. 

 What's not shown? All the little messes that have to be cleaned up after...

xkcd: How Standards Proliferate:

The great thing about standards is there are so many to choose from. What is it about human nature that makes this so recognizably true?

One Story of Life as Told Through Queues

Love this little example of the human condition from John Kellden via Ilya Grigorik. This happens so often to me shopping at Costco or making lane changes on the highway or picking stocks. Sometimes it's just never the right line and trying to make it better only makes it worse. Stick and stay. Buy and hold. Live to queue another day.

RFC 1925 - The Twelve (Timeless) Networking Truths

The Twelve Networking Truths is one of a long series of timeless truths documented in sacred April Fools' RFCs. Though issued in 1996, it's no less true today.

It's hard to pick a favorite because they are all good. But if I had to pick, it would be:

Some things in life can never be fully appreciated nor understood unless experienced firsthand.

As we grow comfortable behind garden walls, clutching gadgets like lifelines and ideologies like shields, empathy is the true social network.

Network Working Group                                  R. Callon, Editor
Request for Comments: 1925                                          IOOF
Category: Informational                                     1 April 1996


                      The Twelve Networking Truths
  
        
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Not Invented Here: A Comical Series on Scalability

I read one of these poignantly humorous comics on Not Invented Here a while back and since I wasn't sure it was OK to repost I emailed asking for permission. Nada. Then I saw Martijn de Vrieze posted a collection of scalability comics from NIH and decided what the heck (click image to read on site):

Thanks to Martijn for curating the collection and NIH for creating them.

And I agree with Martijn, they do capture an ineffable quality about the entire space.

If Your System was a Symphony it Might Sound Like This...

I am in no way a music expert, but when I listen to Symphony No. 4 by Charles Ives, I imagine it's what a complex software/hardware system might sound like if we could hear its inner workings. Ives uses a lot of riotously competing rhythms in this work. It can sound discordant, yet the effect is deeply layered and eventually harmonious, just like the systems we use, create, and become part of.

I was pointed to this piece by someone who said there were two conductors. I'd never heard of such a thing! So I was intrigued. The first version of the performance sounds and looks great, but it unfortunately does not use two conductors. The second version uses two conductors, but is unfortunately just a snippet.

It's strikingly odd to see two conductors, but I imagine different parts of our systems using different conductors too, running at different rhythms, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes there are outbursts, sometimes in vicious conflict. Yet conceptually it all stills seems to hang together. 

Charles Ives Symphony No. 4, BBC Symphony Orchestra/David Robertson, cond./Ralph van Raat, piano:

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NoSQL Style - A Gangnam Style Parody

Listen up all you IT people...NoSQL, it's the rage now, so turn the page now and boost your stack...Hey, mighty people...Go, go, go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...Go NoSQL style...

I for one feel both edified and entertained...can't wait for the Harlem Shake version. 

NoSQL Parody: say No! No! and No!

While certainly not in the same class as Hilarious Video: Relational Database vs NoSQL Fanbois or NSFW: Hilarious Fault-Tolerance Cartoon, this parody does have some really good moments:

What if Cars Were Rented Like We Hire Programmers?

Imagine if you will that car rental agencies rented cars like programmers are hired at many software companies...

Agency : So sorry you had to wait in the reception area for an hour. Nobody knew you were coming to today. I finally found 8 people to interview before we can rent you a car. If we like you you may have to come in for another round of interviews tomorrow because our manager isn't in today. I didn't have a chance to read your application, so I'll just start with a question. What car do you drive today?
Applicant : I drive a 2008 Subaru.
Agency : That's a shame. We don't have a Subaru to rent you.
Applicant : That's OK. Any car will do.
Agency : No, we can only take on clients who know how to drive the cars we stock. We find it's safer that way. There are so many little differences between cars, we just don't want to take a chance.
Applicant : I have a drivers license. I know how to drive. I've been driving all kinds of cars for 15 years, I am sure I can adapt. 
Agency : We appreciate your position, but we can only take exact matches. Otherwise, how could we ever know if you could drive one of our cars?

Click below to see how the story ends, but you probably already know the ending...

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